Guilty As Charged: Envy.You know, the only reason why you're even reading this right now is because I convinced myself that it's perfectly alright in letting people about a dark side of me. Consider yourself lucky.I admit that I was pissed at you for what happened today. I admit that it was entirely my fault that i got all jealous over what you did. It was my fault. My fault, my responsibility. Mine, entirely.
But I can't help it, seriously. I get very easily jealous over little things, expecially my friends, and you are my friend. My friend. I'm very possessive over my loved-ones and friends do count as something significant enough for me to be possessive over. I know. It's totally my fault, and I know you're probably thinking of how psycho-neurotic a person must be if he is possessive over something as a friend.
I apologise.
Friends mean alot to me. You mean alot to me, and you doing that was just like saying to me, "I'm going over because I don't think you're fun and interesting". It's hurting to me, and I must admit, i got jealous. What does he have that I don't have? Am I really lacking so much that you'd rather sit with him than me?
Yes, the psycho-neurotic meter of yours must be going way over the limit right about now, and I don't blame you. This is creepy, even by my standards. All these just add up to make me even more insecure about myself. Am I really that boring? Am I so uninteresting? Am I so uncool? You know that I don't mean it when i say that if would rather not be a friend of yours if you want me to be as lame as you, because frankly, I'd do anything to be able to click with people like you and be, normal, for once.
So yeah, future girlfriend of mine please take note. Even if there's absolutely nothing i could give that you'd possibly ever want, I'd still be able to offer you at least that security in knowing that you are my only one, and I'll make sure no one else will have you. Yeah sounds creepy too, that one. Sigh.
If you know who I'm talking about, or if you know you're the one I'm talking about, good for you. I want to put this behind me for now, because this Jealousy is killing me. Jealousy isn't a deadly sin, but Envy sure is. I think i'm cutting it close now, don't you think?