Yes I'm such an elitist bitch, but I can't help myself - at least, not when there are assholes out there trying to fugging imitate me and be all elitist. Yes, I know i'm from some no-big-deal neighbourhood school, and I'm not rich and neither am I high-up on the Popular Chart, but at least I blog better than the average Teen. I'll leave it at that. You guys are smart enough to understand what I mean.

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People, people. Get off that treadmill, jump up on the couch and grab on to that bag of chips as if your life depended on it. Yes that's right. Mark's going to talk about junk food today. Mark shall tell you what's good to munch when you're in your in your desperate slump and need a quick biochemical fix; JUNK FOOD!

Who doesn't love junk food, man? Admit it, there's something about that very salty, very cheesy Ruffles bag of chips, or that sweet gooey goodness of awesome Ice-cream that you abhor, but at the same time can't help but salivate over. We all binge, so why not share the joy? Besides, what harm would it do to my image when the whole world is as fat as I am?



ICE-CREAM:
You're nuts if you're not a fan of Ben & Jerry's. Seriously. How can you not love the Chocolatechip Cookie Dough and the Chunky Monkey-ness of it? The oh-so-good, almost orgasmic lingering $13.00 taste of the ice-cream is just so tantalising. Oh it's almost better than sex (not that I'd know XD)! It's the perfect pick-me-up for anyone in a serious glucose-deficient slump, or in need of some lovey-dovey comfort. Hey, who needs a girl when you've got Ben & Jerry('s)?



CHIPS CHIPS CHIPS:
Bloody hell I can't get enough of Ruffles. Ruffles original, Ruffles Crinkle-cut, Ruffles CHEEEESE? I'd take any of them, any day. Period. Salty goodness that's bad news for your arteriole walls. That temporary high and warm oozy comfort in front of the Telly, with maximum damage on your lifespan, like that's just BRILLIANT, MAN! Yes even if you've got no friends planning to come over, I guarantee that Death'll sure come a'knocking.



SWEET DRINKS:
I don't know man, this is tough for me. Bandung? LOL no no no Bandung is so old school. We shall think about hot stuff. I like root beer. Yum yum MUG root beer is fabulous. Sure, go get coke, but that's if you're fine with really overrated shit. But honey there ain't no such thing as DIET coke. It's coke. It's sixteen spoonfuls of sugar whether it's fructose or not. It's still fattening. Heck that supermodel from Europe died on a diet of Greens and Diet Coke. How DIET-friendly can it be? Okay major rant-age going on. =) But you miss my ranting, don't you?

So ladies and gentlemen, as I've demostrated, this is the way to advertise junk food and yet still make sure that you're not encouraging obesity in our unnaturally-skinny-asian country called Singapore. Tease and then traumatise with ghastly and not to mention grotesque facts and sarcasm. Now, WHO WANTS TO DIE LIKE THAT SUPERMODEL FROM EUROPE? Drink somemore coke, why don't you! =)


*Up, Up and Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy!! XP