How can a cliche turn so right? How can something so absurd have such a great impact on so many people? It's ridiculous that we cry in front of others with absolutely no reservation, yet we still do. As numb as I've become over these past few months, I still couldn't help myself on Friday. I cried even from the start of the Presentation. What can I do? What could I have done? It was afterall, my Graduation.
The atmosphere peaked at 12.30-ish, and a half hour later, my tears ran dry. I went home and cried even more. Somehow I'm looking through the photos I took constantly, and for like, the past hour, only three songs have been on loop:
If We Hold On Together - Diana RossGoodbye - Spice GirlsGraduation - Vitamin CI'm in tears again. What can I do right? I'm sad. It's all over. I don't mean to sound like such a melodramatic piece of ass, but I can't help it. I fucking miss my friends. Somehow it seems as if i'm forcing myself to cry, and when I can't anymore, I'd sing the lyrics out loud and cry all over again. It's almost as if the forty-five minutes of crying in the Auditorium didn't do justice to the strength of our friendship. It felt like crying for such a short time was like an insult to their memory. Our memories.
It's not enough to be sad, I realise. It's not enough to just acknowledge the separation and promise to cherish the memories. It's not enough to just say it. You see, it's not about who sees you cry, or how much you tell others of your grief.
No, it's much more than that. It's about preservation. It's about honouring their existence and the impact they've had on your life.
! dug deep in the sand
