Ahh, what a night. I hear the sounds of cheering and greeting, as people congratulate each other on the coming of a new year according to the Lunar Calendar. People are anticipating the hoards of people coming to pay them a visit them over the next few days, bearing mandarins and red packets (hopefully) stuffed with wads of cash. Oh the mood is rich in culture and celebration.

Oh how my stomach is sick with this overrated season. My goodness CNY is so damn overrated. I can't stand it.

Really, I don't see what's with all this superstition and anal-ness that creeps into people at this time of EVERY year? Let's see:

No borrowing of money,
Borrowed money has to be returned by the first day of new year,
No sweeping of the house on the first day of new year,
Go shopping for new clothes,
MUST RID HOUSE OF ALL OF LAST YEAR'S DUST,
Suck up to parents for first fifteen days of new year,
No negative hatred or grudges to be retained..

My goodness it's so dumb and retarded. To have a great year ahead you have to follow the above. Now let's see how my year ahead would be:

I haven't returned people all their money,
I've just mopped the floor cuz I spilled my milk,
I couldn't be bothered to buy new clothes,
and I haven't gotten over my anger at Ji- I mean, someone.

Wow 2007 shall be super fun and great for me, man.

Like, can you all not see that the media and the shops are exploiting the fact that everyone's rushing to buy cookies, soft drinks, and clothes for CNY, and you're paying ludicrous amounts of money for a FREAKING PINEAPPLE TART?! Please people, THINK!! Paying 5 bucks for what, 18 Pineapple tarts is NOT smart. The hype and the enthusiasm about CNY makes me puke, quite frankly, because there is nothing and I repeat NOTHING cute about watching pigs wearing oriental clothing wishing people good fortune. It's unnatural and it's NOT WHAT GOD MEANT HIS DEAR ANIMALS TO BE USED FOR.

But I do love two things about CNY:

numberONE:
Good food, and laughs with family during reunion dinners. Ofcourse when we talk about the entire Cheng family, then it'll be weird, awkward and forced conversations that are limited to 2 minutes max, if you're lucky. Still, the food and holidays are always a good thing to look out for.

numberTWO:
Okay this is when Dan turns on his mercenary self on and shoots out his right hand whenever he's done wishing a relative 'HAPPY NEW YEAR' in unapologetic anticipation. Inapropriate proactiveness for Red packets - if you'd prefer.

But yes other than that, CNY is severely overrated. All the hype and enthusiasm for these few days, are for nothing because CNY is boring. I don't care for meaningless superstitions and practices and I boldly declare myself a CNY-POOPER.


Bite me.