
See, the thing about us humans is that we live with this constant need to feel loved, and accepted and remembered. I once watched this movie Shall We Dance(2004), where this woman asked this other guy why he thought people got married. He didn't know, and asked her what she thought. And she said that the reason why people get married, is because they're afraid of living a life that is unappreciated, and are afraid of risking death without others feeling any sense of grief or remembrance. She continued, by saying that people get married because, with marriage, it's a legal contract to declare that if all else fails, as man and wife, that I will always be a witness to your life. It's a a promise to your partner that his or her death will not go unnoticed, and that you will be remembered.
Marriage is a contract of exclusivity. Very much like how relationships in our adolescent years are contracts of exclusivity to make an unofficial declaration to each other that you are appreciated twenty-four seven, and that you need not ever worry about being forgotten or alone.
Similarly, in high school, people form exclusive cliques to ensure that they will always have people they can rely on, and that whatever happens, there is always a group to give you strength. Cliques are formed so that each member inside it can feel good about themselves, that they are of enough worth to be part of a group - or at times, many groups.
So yes, we've established that people form groups, and bonds with each other to satisfy an innate sense of insecurity and fear of being alone, and to feel good about themselves, right? But what about those who don't belong? And not just to a partner in a marriage, or some adolescent relationship, or some clique or worse still, in any faction of society?
People who don't belong to exclusive groups often feel unappreciated and unloved and I guess, the worst part of it all, they feel forgotten. A person need not be an outcast to exist without a certain group to fall back on to reaffirm their self-value. A person need not be weird or different or unpleasant to be lost without a group to belong to. Sometimes even the seemingly confident and warm ones can be without a place that they can feel comfortable in. Such people, in an attempt to break away from the primal need to feel exclusive and included and thereby refusing to stop to form cliques, end up feeling not just unappreciated and unloved, and forgotten, but also confused. How can it be that in trying to break the whole notion of high-school cliques to unite everyone as a member of a collective college instead of members of hundreds of fragmented cliques, such people end up being lost and lonely instead?
It's no longer enough to be a member of society, it seems. Society is just going to have to deal with how fucked up it is, when such seeds of exclusivity end up growing into gigantic social divides which when fully grown, can be treated as effectively as a bandage to a corpse. It sucks to be forgotten, and it sucks to be alone in a world with so many people. It's the little things which everyone forgets, that make such people so lost. But it's okay, I guess.
We'll form our own exclusive anti-clique club then.