
Have an amazing face,
Get a crazy tan,
Hollow cheeks,
Smile lopsidedly,
Play a rugged grunt-inducing sport,
Walk with swag,
Talk low,
Dress cool,
Say crude, inappropriate things,
Have a short fuse,
Like only masculine things,
Be ripped,
Be unable to emote,
Speak at the decibel of a whisper,
Enunciate like a baby,
and have the personality of a fly
With the sexual cravings of a rabbit whore.
Yeah. And that's how you be a guy.