In the silence of this night, where all I hear is the hypnotic humming of the air conditioning and the gentle pitter patter of fingers on a keyboard a table away from me, all I can think of is us. What about us, exactly? Well, everything.
How we work so well together, how we could never work well together, how we would have been so happy together, how we could at the same time never be together.
Us.
I made it very clear to myself that I wanted to - on my part, at least - end it. To stop thinking about us in that way, and stop thinking about us having any sort of a future together. I made it very evident that it would never happen, and now I've made it so. And truly, there are days when I walk by and even with you and feel nothing more than what I will let myself feel.
But on nights like these, I dig up the past, and un-dam the thoughts I don't let myself think, the things I don't let myself feel and the possibilities I won't - and simply can't - let myself imagine, and I just sit.
I sit.
And I bask in wave after wave of melancholy and yearning that have only these nights to rear their raging selves at me. And at the end of it all - yes, it does end - I take a deep breath, and breathe you and all other beautiful sentimental traces of you out of my heart and my life once again. And just like that, I'm me again.
Now, the bricks get piled back on the dam. As it becomes complete yet again, something else remains quite incomplete.
Everything's back in place, and all is still again. Yes. Until another time,
All is still.
! dug deep in the sand